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woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress
disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially
nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your
problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And
most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If
you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband
will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor
“He said you’re going to die," she replied.
to a mix up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina
Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time
for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I’m
going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down
below very happy."
Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it
out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."
Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I’m
going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t
stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I’ll throw all three of
you out of this plane and make 250 million people very very happy."
man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it
out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello, Doctor, says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please?
"Aha!’’ says the doctor.
’’I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after
surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open
and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A
couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re
cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful”
it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was
“The drugs are wearing off!”