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Redneck Birth Control
A man and a woman
from Alabama don’t want any more children because they already have
11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio. The doctor asks, "What
state are you from?
First guy (proudly): "My
wife's an angel!"
How do most men define marriage?
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does
The tough mice
Three city mice are sitting at a bar. One of them gulps down a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the table and declares, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk through the house collecting rat poison, return to my nest, and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to start the day."
The second one follows, slams his whiskey, throws his glass on the floor and announces loudly, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk up to the trap, trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air. I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet -- then I toss it to the floor. And of course take the cheese for breakfast. It's all a part of my morning routine."
The third one looks at the other two. Bored with the conversation, he sets down his glass of beer and says, "I've had enough of you two. I'm going home to screw the cat."